Generous or Stingy? How about Changed?

Being a Mom, I find it much easier to buy gifts, extras, or fun things for my kids and husband than I do for myself. In fact, when I do finally replace the one pair of ratty, hole-in-the-seat pair of jeans I own, I will feel guilty until the next household paycheck. Even if it was my own birthday money. I'm not overly sure where this attitude or guilt comes from, but I do know it has always been more difficult for me to part with my money. For me.

I'd like to say it is because I have such a generous nature, but trust me. That really isn't the case.  I would rather hold tight fisted to the cash than to buy the gas for a family that is stranded and clearly needs someone to extend love and grace to them. I will purposefully change lanes and get as far away from the corner street beggar as I can when stopping at a street light in the city. I held a grudge against my husband for a week when he took some extra cash and bought up  a dozen gift cards to a fast food place so he would have them to hand out when the need arose while he was at work.

I have seen any act of money spending as taking something away from my children. That by giving to something or someone that is a necessity, I am stealing from my prized possessions.  I suppose I do know where my attitude lies.  I tend to idol-ize my children. I don't see it everyday where I am worshiping them, or putting them on pedestals, but I am turning them into something they are not. They are not mine. They are a gift. And just as the lilies of the field are clothed, and the sparrows of the air are fed, so much more so are my children. They have never missed a meal. They have always been warm, clothed, shoed, and entertained. I am just not trusting their very Creator to provide for them and for us as He sees fit. I want to call the shots. I want to say, "If you would just give Heath a job that pays more, we could do more for others". I am selfish. Bent to my heart's desires.

Oh the prayers of this Mother are so often turned to MY heart. That it would be softened. Turned to the desires of God. That I would weep for the needs of others, my prayers would be warm and gracious, not cold and staged for those in need.  And I would remember, I am the caretaker of the most precious gifts, but they have an Advocate much more qualified than I.

So today, I am honored to share a gift with you. My new friend, Lareesie, has generously offered up an Origami Owl medium sized locket to one of my readers. And as an added bonus, she is offering a free charm to all you readers if you spend at least $25. Till April 15th. How is that??  You can order online and then email Laressie what charm they want for free and I will ship it! (laressie(at)gmail(dot)com).  I am thinking I just may need one of these. Or this. Or even this one. Please visit her site, browse around, and encourage her!


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